IF THERE'S A PROBLEM DON E's GOT THE SOLUTION TO MAY 21ST, 2011

Problem:
Apparently the World is set to END May 21st, 2011!  How does one know?  Duh, I Googled it.  "May 21, 2011 will the world end"?  I got SeventySevenMillionEightHundredThousand results in .19 seconds, I figured I didn't have time to look at them all [just in case it's true] so I just looked at the first page...

...According to the first results page, we're F.R. iggin' TOAST!  Everyone says so, ebiblefellowship.com, godlikeproductions.com, wecanknow.com, wikipedia.org [some dude named Harold Camping is SERIOUS].  So now I have your attention and your going whadaIdowhadaIdowhadaIdo?

Have no fear Don E. has the solutions...

Solutions:

• Take back all Library Books, when the rapture comes and your spending eternity somewhere, you don't want to have to pay those fines.
• Dieting?  Fagetaboutit, Start eating like crazy and don't forget deserts.
• Clothes at the Cleaners?   Leave them, clothing will be provided for you.
• Planning to take your car in for a new set of tires?  Where your going, you'll have unlimited wear and tear.
• Need to mend fences with loved one's?  If you can't do it in 5 DAYS screw em'.
•  Getting Married?  Do it today, in either case marriage can be heaven, or it can be hell.
• Respond to all correspondence, you may not be getting back with those folks again.
• On the eve of the 20th, don't bother setting your alarms.  Best case, you will get some well deserved extra sleep.  Worse case, don't worry it won't hurt a bit, unless you wind up in Haites.  That's gonna' leave a mark!  

How far does the Internet really go anyway?